Marriage is society’s most cherished institution, and the marriage bed, as highlighted in Hebrews 13:4, should be “kept pure.” This simple directive carries profound implications for how couples approach intimacy, commitment, and faithfulness. However, this Scripture also became a source of various myths that can twist its meaning.
Let us explore the ten common myths surrounding the marriage bed and discover the deeper truths behind Hebrews 13:4 that can transform our understanding of love and fidelity.
All Forms of Sexual Expression are Acceptable Within Marriage
Just because two people are bound by marriage doesn’t mean that every desire is automatically in line with God’s plan. Some people argue that because a couple is married, anything goes when it comes to sexual expression. But Hebrews 13:4 reminds us that God still sets boundaries, even within marriage. Sexual expression should honor God’s intentions for marriage—built on love, respect, and mutual consent.
Keeping the marriage bed pure means creating an intimate space that aligns with the dignity and holiness God intended for this sacred bond. Even in marriage, we’re called to glorify God with our bodies and our choices.
The Marriage Bed is Merely a Metaphor
The most common myth about the marriage bed in Hebrews 13:4 depicts it as just a symbol for staying pure in general. But when the Bible says, “Let the marriage bed be kept pure,” it’s talking directly about how sacred sexual intimacy is in marriage. It’s not just a poetic idea but a real physical space showing trust and love between a husband and wife.
God made this part of marriage to be respected. It plays a crucial role in strengthening the connection between spouses. It is where emotional and spiritual closeness grows, making the relationship stronger and more fulfilling. Honoring this sacred space shows a commitment to God’s design for marriage.
God’s Judgment is Irrelevant Today
There’s a myth that God’s judgment, especially when it comes to sexual purity, is no longer applicable in today’s modern world. But Hebrews 13:4 makes it clear: “God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” This shows that His standards for marriage and purity haven’t changed, no matter how much society changes. God’s judgment isn’t outdated—it’s just as relevant today as it was back then.
To disregard this is to forget that God’s principles are timeless. Turning away from them doesn’t avoid the consequences. This simply means we’re more vulnerable to the consequences of straying from His will. While God’s love is full of mercy, His justice remains, urging us to live in a way that honors His design for relationships and purity.
Sexual Sin is Not a Big Deal
The truth is, it’s a big deal because it involves something deeply sacred. God’s design for intimacy is meant to be pure and life-giving, so when we step outside of that, we’re not just breaking the rules – we’re damaging something meant to be holy and good.
When the Bible emphasizes purity in the marriage bed, it’s telling us that sexual sin can have long-lasting consequences, both spiritually and relationally. Just because the culture around us may brush it off, it doesn’t mean God does.
Marriage Can Be Redefined
Over the years, many personal and societal preferences have emerged, making some people believe that marriage can be redefined based on their preferences. Hebrews 13:4 reaffirms that God has already set the standard, meaning marriage should also reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church. Trying to redefine marriage based on changing cultural values doesn’t change the reality of God’s intention.
The Bible’s definition of marriage isn’t up for debate—it’s a sacred union that holds deep spiritual significance. While society’s views on marriage may shift, God’s design remains constant. Following His plan allows marriages to thrive under His blessing and purpose.
Marriage Can Thrive Without Intimacy
Some people think a marriage can thrive on emotional connections and shared responsibilities alone, believing that intimacy isn’t necessary for a strong relationship. While those elements are certainly important, physical intimacy also plays a vital role in a healthy marriage.
Fostering emotional bonding and ensuring both partners feel satisfied are equally important. Without intimacy, couples may find themselves drifting apart, lacking that essential connection that comes from shared experiences and affection.
Adultery Only Applies to Physical Acts
A common misconception is that adultery only refers to physical unfaithfulness. Still, Jesus raised the standard in Matthew 5:28 where He said, “Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” This shows that emotional and mental faithfulness matters just as much to God as physical faithfulness.
Lust, even if not acted on, can still break the trust in a marriage. Purity in the marriage bed isn’t just about avoiding physical infidelity but also about protecting the emotional and spiritual connection between spouses. Keeping your heart and mind free from temptation is a way to honor your partner and God.
Marriage is Just a Social Contract
Some view marriage as merely a social contract, but that perspective misses the deeper significance of this union. Marriage is a covenant, a sacred promise made before God that unites two individuals in a way intended to reflect Christ’s unwavering commitment to His Church. Reducing it to a simple agreement undermines its true value. On the contrary, viewing it as a holy covenant means treating it with the respect and reverence it deserves.
Couples Shouldn’t Discuss Sexual Issues Openly
Some couples avoid discussing sexual issues, believing it to be uncomfortable or unnecessary. However, maintaining purity in the marriage bed, as highlighted in Hebrews 13:4, often requires open and honest conversations. Without these discussions, partners may struggle to express their needs and expectations, leading to misunderstandings that can grow into larger issues later on.
Healthy communication about intimacy builds trust, promotes understanding, and deepens the emotional connection between spouses. These topics should be openly discussed between couples to ensure that both partners feel cherished and respected.
Explicit Adult Movies Have No Impact on Marriage
Many people think adult movies are harmless, especially if they are kept private in a marriage. But Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Explicit content can distort our view of intimacy, turning something meant to strengthen a marriage into a self-centered act. It often leads to dissatisfaction, comparison, and a sense of disconnection.
True intimacy relies on vulnerability and true connection, and explicit adult movies work against those very things. Protecting the marriage bed means being careful about what we allow into our minds and our relationships.
What Hebrews 13:4 Really Means
Now that we have debunked 10 of the most common myths about the marriage bed let us explore what Hebrews 13:4 truly means and how we can apply its principles for a longer and lasting marriage.
Honor in Marriage
The call to honor marriage emphasizes its sacredness as an institution ordained by God. This involves mutual respect, love, and fidelity between spouses. Honoring marriage also implies resisting societal trends that undermine its value.
Undefiled Marriage Bed
Keeping the marriage bed undefiled means protecting it from any form of infidelity or immoral behavior. This includes avoiding adult movies, adultery, and other practices that compromise the sanctity of the marital relationship. The Greek term translated as “undefiled” suggests purity and exclusivity in sexual relations between married partners.
Consequences of Defilement
The latter part of Hebrews 13:4 gives a serious warning about what happens when you break these rules. Significant repercussions come from straying away from God’s design for marriage. It stresses how crucial it is to keep the marriage bed pure and to honor the promises made to each other.
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Vidivir is a dedicated high school teacher and a loving mother of three. With over a decade of experience as a blogger and article writer, she has honed her craft in storytelling. As a devoted church lector and servant of God, she combines her passion for writing with her faith, aiming to inspire others through her words.