After giving birth to my youngest child, life became harder than it was before. Not just financially but in every aspect. I was in a very dark place mentally, my relationship took a turn for the worse, and I couldn’t get myself to pray. I was in a lot of pain. Every time I thought about praying, I would just break down.
I tried many ways to make ends meet for my family, but nothing seemed to work. I went to people for help but no one I asked was able to offer assistance. After all, everybody has problems of their own, and it’s hard for others to support anyone financially when they, too, are struggling.
Days went by, and I started saying simple prayers. I would simply sit quietly and ask God for His help. And He did. One day, one of my mom’s friends reached out to her and asked her if she knew anyone who was interested in applying for work overseas, as there were some openings that had come up. My mom asked me if it was something I would be interested in, and I said yes. The only complication was – who was I going to leave my kids with?
My mother was aware of my situation, and said she would be willing to step in and take care of my kids if this job would mean getting some money through the door. My youngest was one year and four months old, but I found the courage and strength to move ahead with the position overseas.
This was the hardest thing for me to do. Although I found comfort in the fact that they were in my mother’s capable hands, I felt like my heart was being ripped apart. They had no father, and now no mother – at least physically. I also knew that my mother was struggling financially herself – but this opportunity presented hope for us all.
It took around a month to receive the required paperwork, but once it had come through, it was time for me to leave. I left home at the end of April 2014, almost ten years to the day that I am writing this. The first few months were very hard, I was homesick almost everyday. The times when I would speak with my babies would leave me devastated, so much so that I contemplated returning.
However, God was there with me.
Psalm 46: 1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
1 Peter: 57
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
Whenever I felt lost or like a horrible mother for leaving my babies, He would remind me that He is my guide and that He is with me on this journey. I am not alone, and He is taking care of my babies. And so, I put all my anxiety and fear at His feet.
My days started to become lighter, and I came to terms with my situation. I knew this was the right thing to do, even though it was painful to be away from them. By being away, I was able to support them and my parents in a way I was not able to before, and this brought joy.
It is now ten years since I first moved away, and while I am now in a position where I can go back and see my babies at my leisure, I still look to God for comfort, and I know that the time when we will be reunited as a family is imminent.
I share my story not for pity but because I want to encourage anyone in a similar position to be courageous and strong. Know that you are not alone, even though you might be alone physically. God is an ever-present help when you need Him. Trust Him, and in everything you do, put Him, include Him.
Susan is a mother of four beautiful babies and a born-again Christian. She took over Hope No Matter What in 2024 and enjoys sharing her knowledge of the goodness and faithfulness of God. Her passion is to bring hope and encouragement to others, and she prays that by sharing her knowledge and personal story, she can inspire others to find enlightenment in God's word.