Stories of Hope

I am Beautiful, Wonderfully and Fearfully Made by God

Older woman smiling at camera
Image credit: Rocketclips, Inc. / Shutterstock.com

My struggle with low self-esteem has been a long and tiresome one.

It started when I was very young. I’m the middle child, the fourth of seven children – three before me, three behind. I always felt that I was the invisible one.

To me, I grew up alone. My older siblings were in boarding school; my parents were rarely home because they were busy, and my younger siblings were seven years younger than me. I didn’t have anyone to look up to. I felt rejected and did not have the confidence of my siblings. I was always afraid to talk and speak up. I was little, but even from a young age, I recognized that life was tough.

It was very hard for me to make friends at school because I was used to spending time alone. I had one friend in school, Valerie. She was my closest friend, but I still struggled to open up completely to her.

I finished my primary education and went to high school—although a lot happened, I will not say much about that. Most of the advice I got was from friends, even though the advice should have come from family. I made many mistakes around that time, mistakes that affected my life negatively. I became very rebellious. In my later years, I now understand this was my cry for attention.

I received bad grades in high school, meaning I could not go to university. This only made things worse. I felt like a failure in everything. All my decisions were based on the assumption that I was a failure because, to me, I was good for nothing. From there, my adult life was miserable. I was ashamed of myself and, at some point, even began to hate myself.

Because of this mentality, I thought I was not worthy of anything good. So, even when I gave birth to my kids, I kept to myself. My relationship at that time didn’t help in any way. In fact, it made things worse. I felt even more worthless and sank deeper into my depression. I lost trust with people and didn’t know what love was anymore. I hid from the world, just like when I was a child because that’s what I knew.

I knew God was with me, and I knew the Scriptures told me that He loves me, but at that time I did not believe it. How could He love me? What good was I to Him? But now I see He did. He loved me and still loves me – more than anyone or anything, just as He does you, my friend.

It took me many years to pull myself out of this. With the help of God through the Holy Spirit, I was able to come out of this negative cycle. He told me who I am and who I am in Him.

How Did It All Change?

From what I read in the Bible, I started changing my thoughts. I replaced my negative thoughts with the word of God and started treating myself and other people the way He tells us to. I started seeing the good in people and slowly started trusting again. I forced myself to go out and start making friends. Over time, I began to bring down the walls that I had built around me. It was far from an overnight process, and sometimes I felt like giving up, but I pushed through until I penetrated that wall of low self-esteem and worthlessness.

I know I am beautiful, wonderfully and fearfully made by God. One specific friend of mine that God gave me has been a big help to my life. Sarah made me realize that I am important and have a place in the grand scheme of life. She reminded me that my life matters, not just to me but to so many other people. She accepted me as a friend, with my weaknesses and fears, and helped me change my way of thinking about myself. Thank you, Sarah.

I now refuse to believe the lies that kept ringing in my mind and started believing the truth—that I am worthy of every good that comes to me. I am capable of achieving whatever I want on this earth and whatever I set my mind to. I am good enough just the way I am.

And to you reading this and who may be in the same position I was, I want you to know that no situation is permanent. You can do anything. You are stronger than you think, and this world really needs you. The fact that you are still here means that God still wants you to be here. You are important. You have a purpose.

Remember, God will allow you to pass through things that you question and don’t understand, and He will be silent as you pass through them. However, that does not mean that He is not with you. It’s just that He needs you to go through it for you to be exactly where He wants you to be.

Susan Komo Bio Image
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Susan is a mother of four beautiful babies and a born-again Christian. She took over Hope No Matter What in 2024 and enjoys sharing her knowledge of the goodness and faithfulness of God. Her passion is to bring hope and encouragement to others, and she prays that by sharing her knowledge and personal story, she can inspire others to find enlightenment in God's word.